Hawk Song
Lord, I ain’t got no more ideas Everything I do turns into trash My hopes rise and rise to highest heights But then I’m catapulted into devastating failure
All my dreams crush like ice under pressure The lostness of my mind is beyond my understanding I’m standing on You – No, I’m falling Falling on my knees, God would You please Take away my pride? Oh wait, You did that already You did that just now And how, how… how did I fall?
I thought I was flying high, Soaring like a hawk, Caught quick in a bad trap, Smack dab in the middle of All that I was dreaming of And somewhere inside the love Was a lovelessness – I can’t resist
Nah, I’m drawn in, But I’m drawn out An’ it ain’t a good picture I pictured a firm fixture But my mind wasn’t fixed on Only one song ‘Cause I wanted to be careful, Not wanting the song to fade away And be replaced By a catchier tune
Ah, but carefulness turned out to be a nest without care And my hawk-song was drowned out I feel like I’ been cast out Drowning and drowning in all my doubts And I wonder if anyone will ever hear me Oh God, it’s my desperate plea
Time after time after time after time I’ve felt more love than ever before But it looks like I make myself out to be a whore Or more, very well, I really don’t know It’s like there’s a twisted mind with a cruel, cruel joke Laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing As the clock ticks ever so slowly Tick… tock… tick… tock… And all the world stops And I see those demon eyes He thought they were disguised But I see through the lies
And I know – I KNOW – He’s out to get me He wants to tear apart my flesh, Rip me limb from limb And this limb I’m perching on Doesn’t feel very strong Give me one good wind – SNAP! – and I’m gone
Oh! To fall doesn’t feel very good at all Oh… But I’ve gotten good at it
I WISH I could be good at loving You, My mighty Savior, my God from my youth I WISH I could rise up and speak the truth But I fear the truth would lead me to suffering I fear the truth and all it brings
But what do You say? “The truth will set you free” How, oh God?? How am I ever to come to grips with this? Open my mouth, oh God, and let it pour forth – All the truth I’ve been holding back – And what’s more, I want my focus to be on Your Son I want all that’s bogus to be over and done
My wings are wounded, I’ve fallen too far And of all the pain that’s been drawn from my heart, I’m not sure what’s the worst part To be rejected – ah, it happens all the time But that doesn’t make it feel better No, I wonder If it wasn’t such a feeling that reciprocated at me After I had drowned out another In the sorrow I now feel
What is real? I’m finding it incredibly hard to affirm the reality of anything But I know You, God At least that’s something Something far greater than me Something far greater than love ‘Cause it finds its ultimate source and center in You And through You, through You, I will take to the skies again